by Lee Sumner
Business and Personal Coach
Call 205.870.1877 or email lee@nolimitscoach.com

Hello, coach!
I'm a grad student who lives alone, and I'm having lots of trouble
avoiding the "eye of hell" -- my television. I would like to be more
productive in my schoolwork, and have a more active social life, but I
find myself watching re-runs of shows I've already seen and don't even
enjoy. Sometimes I turn on the TV for background noise, even though it
distracts me from my homework, housecleaning, or whatever else I'm
doing. I've heard the slogan "Kill your television", but it was an
expensive investment for me, so I don't want to toss it. Is there some
way to avoid getting into the staring contest?
TV Junkie


Dear TV Junkie,

You can take some comfort in knowing that millions of people admit to a love-hate relationship with television. They find they cannot easily control the amount of television they watch. In fact, most of the criteria of substance dependence can apply to heavy TV viewing.

To assess how "hooked" you are, ask yourself: Do I….

• Spend a great deal of time watching?
• Watch more often than I intend to?
• Think about or try repeatedly to stop watching?
• Give up important activities with family, friends, or work to watch?
• Notice withdrawal symptoms when I stop watching?

If you suspect that depression or social phobia is the root of the problem, I encourage you to contact a therapist trained in these areas.

You may wonder just how much time the average person (in the industrialized world) spends with the "boob tube." Fully half of their leisure time—3 hours a day—more than on any single activity except work and sleep. At this rate, someone who lives to age 75 spends 9 years in front of the TV set. Just what makes TV so appealing?

The natural attraction to television is part of our instinctive biological reaction to any sudden or novel stimulus. Babies will crane their necks 180 degrees to attend to sounds and light coming from a TV behind them. In other words, it’s part of what has helped us humans survive—the brain focuses attention on gathering more information while the rest of the body gets quiet.

Research shows that within moments of sitting or lying down and pushing the "power" button, viewers report feeling more relaxed. Because we relax quickly, we’re conditioned to pair viewing with the release of tension. We tend to remain relaxed while viewing and then feel stress once the screen goes blank again. We learn that we will feel less relaxed when we stop watching—a significant factor that keeps us from turning the TV off. Viewing causes more viewing.

So you feel you’re getting way too in touch with your inner couch potato? Here are some tips to help you cut back.

1. First, see how many hours you spend watching TV. Do you automatically turn it on when you wake up in the morning? How about when you get home from work? And how often do you have dinner in front of the tube? Be honest -- acknowledging the problem is the first step toward breaking the cycle. If you're not sure, then track your viewing habits for a few days. Be prepared for a big shock -- all those hours really add up. This exercise alone may help you to limit excessive TV time once you realize how much you're watching.
2. Create a big grid to show the hours and days of the week. Then, decide which shows you really can't miss and write them into your grid. Finally, fill in the rest of the grid (all those extra hours) with the things you'd rather be doing, like calling a friend, playing music, or riding your motorcycle. Keep it handy for those "Must-See" moratorium panics, and instead of succumbing, start doing something on the list.
3. Impose a TV embargo -- give it up completely for a week, or designate one day a week as your No-TV day. You may experience withdrawal symptoms such as boredom or irritation, but once you get over the initial discomfort, you'll find that many of your regular shows don't seem so crucial anymore.
4. Tape your favorite shows on the VCR for watching at prearranged times. You’ll avoid the sense that you’re missing out on something, and besides, you can fast-forward through the commercials.
5. Out of sight, out of mind. A friend of mine claims to have tamed the TV monster by putting hers on wheels and moving it into a closet, only to be rolled out for specific shows. Try moving it into a room you spend less time in (anyplace except the bedroom). At the least, drape fabric over the screen so it’s not staring at you.
6. Switch off background temptation. Don’t leave the television on as background noise. Play a record or listen to the radio instead.

It's funny how little day-to-day decisions can have such a big impact on
the quality of our lives. I’m suggesting that you pay closer attention to how you feel about the choices you make and act accordingly.

For example, instead of berating yourself for watching re-runs all evening, simply notice your feelings and decide to get back on track the next night. Action is the antidote to anxiety. I challenge you to take one of the actions this week, and see what difference it makes.


Lee Sumner is a Certified Professional Coach who has helped hundreds of people create high-quality lives. She is President of No Limits Coaching and Vice-President of the International Coach Federation--Alabama. Send your questions to Lee@nolimitscoach.com and visit www.nolimitscoach.com.

Click here to email Lee or call her at 205.870.1877