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for inspiration, strategies, and results |
OCTOBER 2005 |
Vol. II - Issue 10 |
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February 24-26, 2006 Limited to 20 participants Email |
Top Ten Ways to Have Daily Ecstasy with Your Spouse or Partner
1. Enroll your partner. Get them involved in creating a great relationship. Give them a reason to want it.
2. Schedule dates. Create ways to regularly have fun together. I know one couple, married 20 years, who take turns "kidnapping" one another for a surprise evening of fun.
3. Turn a complaint into a request. "You're never home at night" (the complaint). "I want you to come home by 6:00 twice a week" (the request). You can practice transforming the complaint whether you're the speaker or the listener.
4. Forgive the past. You've messed up along the way and so has he. Try to start at the present. Do what you need to do to forgive the past.
5. Be totally committed to the relationship. Or get out. If you decide you're staying, stop straddling the fence and start behaving as if you're staying.
6. Share the conversation space. Give the other person space to talk. If you tend to talk more, count to 20 while you're silent. Monitor the forcefulness in your speaking. Give your partner "white space" to feel, grapple, think.
7. Teach or correct ONLY when asked. And maybe not even when asked. Some people have a habit of constantly correcting or advising their partner. Refrain from doing it.
8. Leave your partner in better shape than you found them. Take their "temperature" at the beginning of the interaction. Make it your goal to have her/him happier, more filled up, more ready -- by the end of the interaction.
9. Non-reciprocal sex. Nurture your sex life. Spend lots of time with one as the pleaser and the other as the pleased. It's so enlightening. You'll get filled up so much you'll want to give to the other person when it's their turn.
10. Celebrate. Make excuses for it...the dog's birthday, getting a closet cleaned out, it's Tuesday.
#1 Way: Go home, sit down with your partner and make your own Top Ten list.
Hello ~
As you read these ideas, keep in mind your partner, spouse or vision of your future partner. Use these ideas as seeds for your creativity garden. With each idea, think "How could I use this?" or "How could I be different with my partner?" Opening up and taking risks in one area -- like intimate relationships -- inspires you and spills over into all areas of your life. Enjoy!
Warmly,
Lee Sumner is a Certified Professional Coach based in Birmingham, Alabama, who has helped hundreds of people create high-quality lives. She is President of No Limits Coaching and is a popular speaker, columnist and facilitator. (205.870.1877)
Email Lee: lee@nolimitscoach.com
Get more info on the website: www.nolimitscoach.com
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