|
|
||
 |
|
|
|
for inspiration, strategies, and results |
DECEMBER 2005 |
Vol. II - Issue 12 |
|
|
||
'Tis Better to Give...Leave potted flowers or herbs anonymously on a friend's doorstep. Make an emergency-kit gift basket with a blanket, flashlight, gas can, jumper cables, and flares. Call an estranged friend or write a letter to someone you haven't seen in a few years. Give away the last great book you bought and enjoyed to someone who shares your taste. Shovel snow for an elderly neighbor. Pay for the car behind you at the toll booth during holiday road trips. Frame a meaningful photograph or put together a photo album or book of family recipes. Give children a gift of music or sports lessons instead of another toy. Donate to a charity in the name of a loved one. Create a special memory by going to a ball game, to a museum, or on a camping trip. Give away one of your favorite things. |
Lee Sumner is a Certified Professional Coach based in Birmingham, Alabama, who has helped hundreds of people create high-quality lives. She is President of No Limits Coaching and is a popular speaker, columnist and facilitator. (205.870.1877)
Email Lee: lee@nolimitscoach.com
Get more info on the website: www.nolimitscoach.com
A Survival Guide:
In-laws, Ex-es and the Holidays
1. Don't feel obligated to attend two of everything -- two Christmas dinners, etc. Figure out how much time you can give to each family -- and to yourself as well.
2. Decide which family traditions you'll keep when your rituals change. This is a time when your family can start building a new history.
3. Realize you and your spouse are in this together. Instead of attending events grudgingly while your emotions simmer, talk to your spouse and figure a way out of the holiday mess. Don't allow others or circumstances to plan for you.
4. Don't fight your spouse's battles. Common trap: Grown-up children regress to childish behavior and parents re-establish authoritarian roles. If you see this happening, go for a long walk -- or find another way to stay out of it and stay calm.
5. Plan for a shorter time together if the relationships are strained.
6. Find insider allies if you need them. If you have in-laws who behave like outlaws, then you may need some allies with inside information to assist you in carrying out your holiday strategy.
7. If in-laws are heavy drinkers, feed them as soon as they arrive...serve nonalcoholic or low-alcohol beverages...invite them for a relatively short time.
8. Consider inviting a difficult in-law to lunch after the holidays, too. It may change your feelings about the person -- and your long-term relationship as well.
9. Work out the custody arrangement with the ex-spouse ahead of time. Nothing is worse for a child during the holidays than to hear parents squabbling over visitation. Sort out custody arrangements in advance of the holidays and explain them to the kids so they know what to expect.
10. Do what you can to minimize holiday stress on kids. Figure out ways to cut down the number of trips a child has to make between multiple households and relatives, allow for quality time together, and don't expect a child to eat several large meals in one day.
At some point, we've all spent a holiday in a slightly less-than-blissful family situation. I hope these ideas will help you avoid some common mirth-traps and savor more pleasures of the season.
I appreciate all you've contributed -- wholehearted support and inspiration as well as referrals -- to make 2005 the most successful of my five years in business...thank you! I look forward to serving you and celebrating as you live your best life in the coming year.
Warmly,
You are receiving this e-mail because you signed up for this service, are a valued client, a prospect or someone I met who expressed interest, a colleague, or a former client I want to keep in touch with. At any point you may opt out of this subscription. I NEVER release, sell or give a subscriber's name or e-mail address to anyone. If you received this mail in error I apologize. Please unsubscribe to be deleted from future mailings, and feel free to re-join at any time. DUPLICATION of this FREE newsletter is encouraged. You may copy, forward, or republish it only in its entirety and with all attributions intact. Copyright 2005 Lee Sumner, all rights reserved.